Me Too!: Top 9 monsters

Basically, this is the first 9 monsters that I remembered fond memories of – either as DM or as player. I wanted 10, but I had nothing much to say after the top three, so…

#9 Rat

Its a classic. Its in any introduction game. And I need to mention that the computer game « Oblivion » has this wonderful quest where you need to take care of a rat problem in the basement… turns out you have to *protect* the rats from some odd predator. Love it? Yes I do.

#8 Kobold

A cornerstone of 1st level adventuring. Nuff said.

#7 Drow

No one does evil + cool like the Drow. And they come with spiders. I hate spiders.

#6 Skeletons

The first monster where we realized that bludgeoning weapons might be more effective than slashing weapons. My memories are vague, but I think it was in the ADnD rules. I don’t remember any of that in 4th edition. Gelatinous Cubes should also be more susceptible to the damage done with weapons from the spoon class.

#5 Zombies

Well, zombies are a classic. They’re slow, disgusting and give you a reason for your healing-pack player to use « turn undead ».

#4 Dragon

There’s a reason their race is in the name of the game. We never got to see one in my oldest game, but our DM is quite fond of them and… well.. so am I now.

#3 Orcs

Using illusion spells to dress as orcs, we had to role play our orcs to get passed an orcish barricade.
When questioned about where we were going with our prisoners (we didn’t have enough disguises), the PC leader went very angry – stipulating « the shaman told me to bring the prisonner there, it is not my place to question the shaman and if you are stupid enough to question the shaman, you go and question him your self. I do what the shaman tells me. And you better not dare question the shaman again. »

#2 Trolls

Wolverine’s « healing factor » is a sissiful thing compare to what our version of a troll could do…
We were higher-level players back then and were going through a list of ingredients to gather. I think it was to try and cure the lycanthropic kid of a valorous and embarrassed paladin.
Somewhere along the list, we needed to provide the blessed nose of a troll.
The targeted troll was one among many trolls which had infested a region of the world and took over an abandoned castle carved out of mysterious black rocks.
We enrolled hundreds of NPCs and ran them as military-like as we could. Some groups were equipped with torches and other fire-related elements.
Over the course of a few days, we managed to clear the forest and the castle – which we took as our own.
We kept the remaining soldiers as part of our staff. We eventually needed to adventure to gather money to pay for our staff!
I remember when we were holding the castle and defending against trolls – trolls we lopping off the heads of other trolls and catapulting them inside the castle, in hope to regenerate a new body and attack us.
As for the troll we were looking for, we located him and managed to… uhm… harvest its nose and place it in a bag of holding – to try and prevent the rest of the troll to grow on the nose (our trolls were *that* regenerative).
Good times.

#1 Bulettes

The nefarious « land shark ». I used them as a DM – because I liked to use the creatures my players didn’t know about. Good luck doing that now that I DM for a DM that has way more experience than me!
One of my fondest combat memory involved a pair of bulettes.
The players were going towards a mysterious tower that appeared in a forest near a small town. As they came closer, the ground started shaking. A little rumble at first, but it soon came to Richter-like proportions.
A thick slab of rock-like matter was aiming for the party. The adventurers braced, ready to dodge the… whatever that was.
But the ground suddenly opened before them and this humongous creature took to the air and dove towards them from above, mouth agape and well populated with murderous teeth.
Kindly roll initiative.

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